a time of experimentation

It is normal enough to be tired and stressed and at your wits end as a young mother. Those of you who are now in said situation, i would like to validate you. it is not easy. Young kids are a handful, house chores are never ending, and sleep is never enough. All you need to know is that it is a season, and just like winter always melts into spring, the kids grow, you will get good at going with the flow, and ultimately the house work will get done one way or another. it will be over before you know it.

Thinking of it that way is how i got through. Also, seeing the blessings that come with your trials. During the day, the girls would always be clamoring for my attention, there was always work to be done on the "fixer upper" house we had moved into and my husband was always gone. But at night, when the girls were sleeping and looking like beautiful angles, i was grateful for them and the health they had. I was grateful for that our house was also a duplex. the tenants' rent saved our butt more than once. and even if i was alone most of the day, i was grateful for my husband who worked so hard for his family.

It was a stressful time, so i wasn't surprised that i was stressed, but i was also very tired a lot. i would have huge energy slumps and still, i was pretty fat.

When i was a teenager, the huge health craze was low fat everything. most everyone in my family has weight issues, so as a family we jumped on the band wagon. Susan Powder was our idol. She was a woman who had gone from fat to thin by cutting out fat and doing aerobics. With her we stopped the insanity! we ate low fat and worked out with her aerobics videos. and i was successful in shedding a few pounds. the problem was it got very boring very fast.

Fast forward to my young married years, the big craze, low carb! Atkins, South Beach, basically everyone was in agreement that carbs would kill you but on the other hand a ton of meat was awesome for your body. So i gave it a try. it didn't last long, after two weeks i was so hungry for bread, i could have killed for some. (plus i hadn't even lost weight) I was always cranky. ok, cranky doesn't really fully describe. lets try mean and angry, covered in hungry.

*rant moment*
I don't know anyone who actually loses a lot of body fat and keeps it off and is happy while on a low carb diet. i have known a lot of people who have lots weight with it, its true, but it is not a maintainable life style. As soon as they go off, their body sling shots and in most cases they gain back more than they lost. it is also very unhealthy if you do follow it for a long time. your cholesterol goes way up, your energy goes way down, and your body goes to crap and you run the risk of getting scurvy. yes, that is that condition that sailors a pirates got from being out to sea for too long. that is because low carb diets outlaw high carb fruits and vegetables like carrots, oranges, cantaloupe, apples and potatoes. vitamin rich carbs that you can not get from a side of beef. now, I'm no dietitian, but lets stand back and use common sense for a minuet. which is the healthier meal, cantaloupe and bananas or bacon with butter? more on this subject later.
*rant over*

I tryed it a few times and then finally gave up on it all together. I am a determined person, but that just wasn't my bag. my next desperate act? Diet pills!

I used a couple different kinds, the ones i had most success with was ones that killed my appetite. it was amazing! i felt so sick that i couldn't finish my bowl of cereal! it was awesome. i love that quote "mono is the best diet ever." i did actual loose 20 lbs. so, yea, but i was not one size smaller. dose anyone else wonder how you can lose 20 lbs and not be any smaller? well, ill tell you. when your body is starved, it will first flush water, after that it will burn fat for energy. you say, "isn't that the point?" well, yes, but here is the thing, your body uses it for energy, not nutrition. so after a couple days, your body goes, "I'm tired of eating fat" and starts eating your muscle, tissue that weighs much more than fat cells. that's right, you turn into your own cannibal.

that is why a person who is anorexic can technically also be obese. obesity is what happens when the fat on your body outweighs your muscle mass. the bodies of people who starve themselves are living off of their own muscle tissue. therefor, though they may be very thin, they actually have more fat than muscle.

It was a very frustrating time, i was trying all these things to get in shape but nothing was working. I got super confused by all the conflicting diet and weight loss information i was going through. I could count calories and be hungry a lot, i could cut out carbs and go crazy or i could go fat and sugar free and never have a sweet treat to help me through pms again. all valid techniques, but with hard to live with drawbacks. its not that i was lazy, i would try hard, i just didn't have energy to propel me after my initial bravado faded out. Also, i just couldn't see myself living with those restrictions. I thought i was using common sense but i honestly didn't know how i was supposed to eat or work out to get the results i desired. i didn't need to just drop a few vanity pounds before the prom, i wanted to change my body. Thank heavens i was turned onto Bill Phillips' Body for Life. It saved mine.